Breaking Free & How To Embrace Embodiment Over Approval

 After a festive break, I’m thrilled to reconnect and dive into some powerful reflections inspired by the holiday season. Today’s topic, Breaking Free: Embodiment Over Approval, is one I feel many of us will deeply resonate with. It's about stepping out of the "good girl" narrative, letting go of people-pleasing tendencies, and embracing the truth of our embodied selves.
Embracing Embodiment Over Approval
We’ve all experienced moments—sometimes countless moments—where we’ve prioritised the approval of others over our own needs. This behavior often stems from societal conditioning, especially for women. From a young age, many of us are taught to be obedient, accommodating, and "nice," gaining love and approval in return. While these behaviors may seem harmless or even virtuous, they can lead to disconnection from our true selves.
Over the recent holiday season, I found this theme particularly prominent. Holidays often shine a light on family dynamics, relationship challenges, and the silent expectations we’ve internalized. For many of us, this time of year highlights the push and pull between doing what is expected and staying true to what feels right for us.
Recognizing the Cost of People-Pleasing Reflecting on my own journey, I’ve seen the profound ways that saying "yes" to gain approval has cost me. The stress of sacrificing my needs, disembodying myself, and putting on a mask to meet others’ expectations often outweighed the temporary validation it brought. What I’ve come to realize is that the pain of losing someone’s approval pales in comparison to the pain of losing connection with myself.
For me, 2024 was a year of unlearning and stepping into deeper alignment with my truth. I said "no" to things that no longer served me, even when it was hard or misunderstood by others. This has been a radical, ongoing process—one that I intend to continue into 2025.
Steps to Break Free If this resonates with you and you’re ready to begin shifting out of people-pleasing patterns, here are some embodied practices to explore:

1. Cultivate Awareness
   Awareness is the first step toward change. Notice when you feel the urge to please or gain approval. Reflect on how these moments make you feel in your body. Are you energized or drained? Empowered or depleted? Bringing curiosity to these patterns can help illuminate what’s driving them.
2. Ask Key Questions
   Reflect on these questions to deepen your understanding:
   • Who is this serving, and who is it not serving?
   • What would I need to let go of to honor my truth?
   • What am I afraid will happen if I say no?
     Let these questions guide you in uncovering the underlying beliefs and fears that keep you tethered to approval-seeking behaviors.
3. Anchor Into Your Body
   Notice how your body responds to situations of people-pleasing. Do you feel tension, heaviness, or disconnection? Practice grounding exercises or breathwork to reconnect with your embodied wisdom. Over time, this connection can guide you toward choices that align with your truth.

          Depth First, Then Direction
         When we move through these practices, we begin with depth—exploring the underlying emotions, beliefs,         and sensations that drive our behaviors. From there, clarity and direction naturally emerge. This approach               ensures that we’re not just forcing ourselves to change but truly aligning with our inner wisdom.

​          A Guided Embodied Practice To close
            I invite you to explore this simple embodied meditation:

1. Find a comfortable seat and close your eyes. Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly.
2. Bring your attention to your breath. Notice how it feels as it moves in and out.
3. Imagine letting go of the tension in your body. Feel your muscles soften and your breath deepen.
4. Ask yourself: Body, what can you let go of to honor what you need?
5. Sit with this question and notice any sensations, emotions, or insights that arise. There is no right or wrong—simply observe with curiosity.

When you’re ready, gently bring yourself back to the room. If you feel called, take a moment to journal your reflections.

Moving Forward If you’re ready to dive deeper into this work, I’m excited to share my upcoming coaching program, Recapture Your Truth. Over three months, we’ll explore how to reconnect with your body, reclaim your inner wisdom, and live a life aligned with your truth. You can find more details by emailing [email protected]  or schedule a free discovery call to learn more https://calendly.com/elly-thankfulflow/discovery-call-feminine-embodiment-coaching. 

Also follow my podcast on spotify : Embodied & Empowered Wisdom https://open.spotify.com/episode/7ojXDhkHa02EJTVzAYp4w7?si=QgAxGD4CQQ-bjbbw_9mM5g

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